Future and the Options

It came to be a convenient arrangement. They liked each other, refrained from throwing around the L word. They both knew they'd used it in the past with almost no effort. And somehow this time around, it just didn't come naturally. Or was met with an awkward silence soon after. So they let it be.

It was fun to be different, quirky to let associations be undefined, smart to keep one's options open. They played it as dispassionately as anybody their age could. On some level, it seemed more a short term arrangement, for lack of a more appropriate term. They were scared to call it names that tainted more than described.

One was not 'expected' to behave in a certain way. Yet there was always an implicit demand. When either of them crossed the fine line in making that demand explicit, all hell broke loose. There would be accusations of “not putting in any effort” or “taking no interest in the future”. And there would be justifications of “not being ready” and “too much responsibility”.

They continued to play this game for two, with almost nothing to lose. After the failed relationships in the past, they had learned not to be as forthcoming in sharing with others. Most potential partners are introduced thru friends, and friends have a tendency to disregard you as being in the 'market' if you told them that you were interested in someone.  And parents: the whole drama of trying to explain to them why you were interested in that particular person and where it was headed to, was always going to be tedious. In this arrangement, they didn't have to do any of this. They weren't answerable, they could reply with an "I don't know" to almost every question posed and there wasn't any explicit obligation. And then, there was always the ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend that they could rekindle a romance with, especially if they didn’t know that you’re currently involved with another person. Easiest play in the game. And the new options were, of course, infinite.

All he had to do was search. There were ones with doe eyes. Ones with perfect bodies. Ones that dressed well. Ones that spoke well. Ones that were witty. Ones that were smart. Ones with class. Ones with spunk. Ones with dreams. Ones with values. He could get whatever he wanted. All that stood between him and this person was a search.

All she had to do was choose. There were ones with class. Ones with intellect. Ones that were witty. Ones that tried hard. Ones that were 'elite'. Ones that had ideals. Ones that were self-made. Ones with good looks. Ones who traveled countries. Ones with toned bodies. Ones that could sing. She could get whatever she wanted. All that stood between her and this person was a choice.

Neither would ever find someone that fit their bill to the last dot. They could cross-off three-fourths of their list, but it would be slim pickings after that. It would take a lot of maturity or helplessness for them to realize that they could make do with this much. That the remaining came down to how much they wanted it to work, rather than these statistics.

It takes two mediocre human beings who really want to be with each other to make a relationship work. Not two spectacular human beings that set their bar of expectations so high that they will spend a significant time trying to understand why nobody fits their bill for too long. Sometimes, it takes the best of them to get off their high horse and realize that life is always going to be half empty if the right chances are not taken at the right times.

Pop psychology tells us that one tends to accept a choice and be happier with it, when they can't go back on that choice. Sometimes, it is that simple. Make an investment with sound fundamentals and lock it in. And take a leap of faith. It takes two to play this game. That notwithstanding, options are going to be omnipresent every single day in the future. Yet they may just not seem as worthwhile.