For too long, you've lived life without a care in the world. You've been the one everyone looks up to for a quick joke or to entertain the masses. If anyone asked the most responsible person in the room to raise their hand, you would be the one sitting at the back of that room mocking the one that does.
At work, at home and at play, you're now inevitably standing at the skipper's spot that is looked upon to make decisions, weigh opinions and be rational. With great power comes great responsibility. And with great responsibility comes great burden. You're now the one to take the fall for anything that goes wrong with the path you chose. You're now in control of all the gears that move and you're now increasingly told that the person sitting in your spot has only as much control. Apparently, the master switch is with leadership or society or the country or the government. There's too much bureaucracy, no freedom of choice. Just an illusion to make you think there are choices ahead of you while the real choice has already been made for you.
Accept it or fight it.
And if you chose the latter, you have a plethora of battles to win before you accomplish something worth writing about. No, the things that matter to others need not matter to you. The fact that nobody has done it before doesn't count. Don't care that everyone you know is walking in the opposite direction. And fight. The good fight.
It will never stop you questioning yourself. It should. But it won't. And you're the only one that can understand the demons that are tugging at you when you lie down on your bed at night. And when you wake up the next morning, almost as tired as you slept, only you know you've fought a battle in your mind. And slowly crawl out of your bed to get ready. Ready to brace yourself for the next round.
Things aren't that hard, except in your mind. Curb your expectations and everything will be fine. The worst possible outcome is still better than what you would've thought 10 years ago. You've come a long way. Applaud yourself. And celebrate. Nobody will if you don't.
There's still a way to turn everything around. It takes some effort. Go smoke that cigarette. It's like one of those Bose noise cancelling headphones. It drowns out some of those meta thoughts in your mind. Those noises. Go meet those friends and drink another drink. Go to that lame party everyone goes to. And let go.. Now listen carefully. Do you hear that white noise. You do, right? And everything else is blurred out? Things get clearer yet more muddled at the same time. You're not going insane. At least not yet.
There's no turning back. You are the most responsible person in the room, whether you like it or not. Resign yourself to it or turn your back to it and see someone else try much harder and do a job you would've done better. It will drive you nuts. They will continue to look at you weirdly. There's no way to stop that. You can't be invisible if you tried. There's no hiding in the crowd. This ain't no Assassin's Creed and there ain't no invisibility cloak.
Accept it or fight it.
And if you chose the latter, you have a plethora of battles to win before you accomplish something worth writing about. No, the things that matter to others need not matter to you. The fact that nobody has done it before doesn't count. Don't care that everyone you know is walking in the opposite direction. And fight. The good fight.
It will never stop you questioning yourself. It should. But it won't. And you're the only one that can understand the demons that are tugging at you when you lie down on your bed at night. And when you wake up the next morning, almost as tired as you slept, only you know you've fought a battle in your mind. And slowly crawl out of your bed to get ready. Ready to brace yourself for the next round.
Things aren't that hard, except in your mind. Curb your expectations and everything will be fine. The worst possible outcome is still better than what you would've thought 10 years ago. You've come a long way. Applaud yourself. And celebrate. Nobody will if you don't.
There's still a way to turn everything around. It takes some effort. Go smoke that cigarette. It's like one of those Bose noise cancelling headphones. It drowns out some of those meta thoughts in your mind. Those noises. Go meet those friends and drink another drink. Go to that lame party everyone goes to. And let go.. Now listen carefully. Do you hear that white noise. You do, right? And everything else is blurred out? Things get clearer yet more muddled at the same time. You're not going insane. At least not yet.
There's no turning back. You are the most responsible person in the room, whether you like it or not. Resign yourself to it or turn your back to it and see someone else try much harder and do a job you would've done better. It will drive you nuts. They will continue to look at you weirdly. There's no way to stop that. You can't be invisible if you tried. There's no hiding in the crowd. This ain't no Assassin's Creed and there ain't no invisibility cloak.
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